It's never easy to lose someone but is it any easier to lose that loved one in the blink of an eye, when they pass away suddenly (eg. heart attack) but they do not suffer on going pain ... or is it better, even though they are ill (cancer), to be able to say your goodbyes, but know they will suffer in pain until they die?
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I lost my father 22 years ago when he had a second massive heart attack within 10 months. No time for goodbyes, he was just gone, in the night. We said our goodbyes in the morgue. I remember him lying there, in his pajamas, like he was just asleep. We all felt cheated that it was so sudden and we couldn't say our 'I love you's and goodbyes" but I have always been comforted to know he didn't suffer any pain and didn't have to endure medical intervention and hospitals (he hated hospitals).
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On the flip side, we have just lost a very good friend to bowel cancer. Gary battled with that bastard of a disease for about 2 years, having conventional and experimental chemotherapy along the way. Eventually, the chemo made his so weak that his body just couldn't rally, the cancer won and he passed away peacefully on Monday. We visited him on July 4th and we could see that he didn't have a lot of time left. His body had started to shut down and it was upsetting to see our big friend, so frail and looking scared and fed up. He told us he had had enough. A couple of blood transfusions rejuvenated him in later days but not for long. He eventually said no to further intervention. In his last days, he had his wife (supported by his ex wife, can you believe) to administer care and as much pain medication as he needed to keep him comfortable. His funeral will be held next Monday and Angus has been asked to speak about our mate 'Big Dudda'. It will be hard but also a privilege. Love ya, Big D!
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It was good to be able to see him and say goodbye but after seeing Dudda the way he was, I would always hope that I am taken suddenly and not allowed to suffer the way he and so many others do. Just saying.
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Joolz
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I lost my father 22 years ago when he had a second massive heart attack within 10 months. No time for goodbyes, he was just gone, in the night. We said our goodbyes in the morgue. I remember him lying there, in his pajamas, like he was just asleep. We all felt cheated that it was so sudden and we couldn't say our 'I love you's and goodbyes" but I have always been comforted to know he didn't suffer any pain and didn't have to endure medical intervention and hospitals (he hated hospitals).
~
On the flip side, we have just lost a very good friend to bowel cancer. Gary battled with that bastard of a disease for about 2 years, having conventional and experimental chemotherapy along the way. Eventually, the chemo made his so weak that his body just couldn't rally, the cancer won and he passed away peacefully on Monday. We visited him on July 4th and we could see that he didn't have a lot of time left. His body had started to shut down and it was upsetting to see our big friend, so frail and looking scared and fed up. He told us he had had enough. A couple of blood transfusions rejuvenated him in later days but not for long. He eventually said no to further intervention. In his last days, he had his wife (supported by his ex wife, can you believe) to administer care and as much pain medication as he needed to keep him comfortable. His funeral will be held next Monday and Angus has been asked to speak about our mate 'Big Dudda'. It will be hard but also a privilege. Love ya, Big D!
~
It was good to be able to see him and say goodbye but after seeing Dudda the way he was, I would always hope that I am taken suddenly and not allowed to suffer the way he and so many others do. Just saying.
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Joolz
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